Inexperienced dating

Women often complain that they only get approached by men they would never be interested in, like pervy older guys at the grocery store, or cocky meatheads at the bar who are obviously just looking for sex. This is a particular problem for shy women who are into guys who are more quirky or sensitive or intellectual, since those types of men typically tend not to be as aggressive about approaching people.

A woman's lifestyle will have a big impact on how often she gets approached.

A sorority member who works as a waitress and who goes clubbing a lot will likely get a lot of attention, since she's always out around people. A woman who's more of a homebody and who hates bars isn't going to get nearly as many opportunities for people to chat to her.

Rightly or wrongly, many women dismiss the idea of meeting someone at a bar, or through a stranger approaching them, out of hand. They want to meet people under different circumstances, like through friends.

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Many women aren't interested in just sleeping with anybody for the sake of having sex, or are not into one-night stands with strangers. So the idea that they can technically get laid at will doesn't appeal to them.

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They're looking for a more serious relationship with someone who likes them as a person, and want to get to know someone before they get physical. In particular I find some guys have trouble accepting this point. Because they personally are fine with casual sex, or are feeling desperate to hook up with anyone half-decent just to get rid of their nagging inexperience, they can't imagine how someone else wouldn't value these things.

A lot of women have understandable safety concerns. They're not willing to go home with someone they just met, because they don't know if the guy will be dangerous or not once they're not in public. This is another thing I find some guys have trouble fully comprehending, since they take a lot of their safety for granted. For some women, if they get approached a lot, but the attention is unwanted and aggressive and harassing, it may make them even more nervous and guarded around men than before. A bigger issue with the 'let people come to you and choose from the applicants' approach is that it takes away a lot of a woman's ability to choose who she ends up with.

What if she's really interested in a particular guy, but he hasn't noticed her and isn't likely to? If she doesn't have the ability to engage him then she'll miss out on that chance. A problem some shy women report having is that they're able to find boyfriends, but the guys who typically take the initiative to try to date them aren't the ones they're really into.

A shy woman's self-confidence may not be great and she feels she has to take whatever comes to her. This belief follows from the two above about how supposedly easy it is for women to have success with relationships. It isn't so much articulated out loud by people as it is something they just assume. There are women in their mid-twenties and older who are totally dateable and attractive to an outside eye.

However they've only had a couple of very short-term go-nowhere relationships, or they've never had a boyfriend, or they're still virgins. In particular people can not believe that older female virgins do exist, but they are out there, and they feel especially invisible and alone and hopeless. I already mentioned the issues physically attractive women have in getting their shyness taken seriously. Another group that may have their dating shyness discounted is women who seem confident and adjusted around everyone else in their lives.

People will think, "Well they're so fun and outgoing around their friends, why would they ever have a problem meeting men?!? Shy, sexually inexperienced guys also spend a ton of time worrying about how their inexperience makes them unattractive to the opposite sex. They get good at keeping it a secret and dodging conversations where personal sex stories might come up.

Problems Facing Women Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Men |

They fret about how they'll turn off their partner the first time they hook up by not knowing how to perform in bed. Ironically, their fear of their inexperience getting in the way often puts up one more barrier to them getting that experience they're looking for. I didn't put this point up with the other shyness problems that both genders face because I think women's experience of this issue is somewhat different compared to what guys go through. First, there are different negative stereotypes in society associated with female inexperience.

One is that since women supposedly have it easier in the getting sex department, if a woman is older and still hasn't done a lot physically that must mean she's really messed up and broken somehow. A man might assume she's had a really rough childhood, or has a ton of personal baggage around dating and sex.

A second harmful belief is that women tend to become clingy and emotionally attached to whoever they first gain experience with, which is an off-putting possibility for some men. They don't want to be a woman's first, and then have her become obsessed and want to marry him. Stereotype number three is that inexperienced women are bad in bed and not worth the effort of sticking around to teach. A fourth counterproductive concept works a bit differently. It's the opposite stereotype that some men like inexperience in a woman.

Some men see it as an indication that she's more virtuous, or emotionally healthy, or has better character. A male who's shy may feel much less intimidated by a woman who's as inexperienced as he is. However, this has the same effect as the other 'women have it easier' beliefs; It sure stings when these supposed advantages don't play out for you in real life. A shy, inexperienced woman may have been harshly rejected many times when men have found out she hasn't fooled around a lot, or she's still a virgin, or never had a boyfriend. The fact that some men are drawn to women in her situation is cold comfort.

If someone feels their inexperience is a problem, then they're not likely to listen to reassuring messages about how things aren't that bad. Guys do the same thing.

Shy women face many of the same problems as shy men when it comes to dating

A shy, inexperienced woman may be told that her virginity is no big deal, and some people see that as a plus, but she won't be able to emotionally accept it. Prevent any mix-ups in these areas by ironing this out with your date in advance. Knowing what to expect may make her feel more comfortable. Let your date indicate the type of arrangements she'd prefer; some women appreciate traditional expressions of affection, such as when men pick them up and proceed to pay for the meal.

Others value their independence, and prefer to meet you at an agreed upon location and pay for themselves. Discuss these matters upfront to prevent confusion or bad feelings later on. Avoid pushing for intimacy too soon, which can be a real sticking point when dating inexperienced women. Assume she is unfamiliar with sex, as well as dating. Assume, as well, that she may be curious about sex, but afraid or embarrassed to initiate or discuss it. She may be wary of the possibility of a stranger taking advantage of her sexually.

How To Let A Guy Know That You're Inexperienced In Dating

Move slowly when it comes to physically intimacy, and if your date expresses any discomfort through words or actions, back off immediately. Be upfront about not wanting to see the woman again, if that is the way you feel.

Take the time to meet with her in person to explain that you'd like to end the relationship, and give specific reasons. Perhaps your reason for ending the relationship has nothing to do with her inexperience; if this is the case, be clear about it. Be a gentleman, always. I studied engineering my 1st 2 years of college, but went broke and mostly roughnecked since oil. I worked at a manufacturing plant briefly and thought the machine programmers were so cool-I liked working with them because it was a break from all the labor and less heat.

You're hyping this up in your mind and that's mistake number one. I'm going to give some advice, and I hope you take it because you'll be better off for it.

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  • She's out of your league, you're going to be boring, you're going to fuck up. Maybe not all at once.

    How to Date Inexperienced Women

    Maybe not all with this specific woman. But all those things? They are going to be true. The only way you can avoid all of that is by shutting yourself off completely from dating.

    Issues that are unique to shy women

    She said she's not looking for anything.